A few years ago, I turned on my television, and the show being broadcasted was an episode of the Maury Povich Show. Like many of the shows aired, this particular episode featured the infamous DNA testing to determine whether or not a man was the father of a certain child. At the start of each segment, a man would deny the paternity of said child in question, and almost every time, Maury would declare, “The DNA test determined you are the father!” As I continued watching, I began to ask myself, what on earth would possess a woman to give herself to a man who would deny his children?
That isn’t portraying love on either account.
So what is true biblical love, and how should we pursue love in a way that honors God?
How Is Your Love Life?
Jesus was a remarkable example of how we are to love. During His ministry on earth, He showed us how to put others before ourselves, regardless of how they treated us. After His resurrection, He sent the Holy Spirit to empower us to love fully and love well.
In Greek culture, around the same time Jesus walked this earth, teachers had many ways of defining and describing love. However, looking at present-day time, there is a commonality of using the term love interchangeably for many things.
I love my family.
I love Sunday night football.
I love chicken fried rice.
I believe the Greeks were on to something. They held certain loves to a higher standard and understood that some forms of love were of the casual variety for good reason.
In John chapter 21, Jesus challenges Simon Peter to consider the action of love. As we explore together, let’s first think about the three different kinds of love.
3 Kinds of Love
Agape
Agape is sacrificial love, and it gives with the hopes of getting nothing in return.
This is the kind of love Jesus showed to us when He died on the cross for the salvation of our sins. When Jesus is asking Peter, “Do you love Me more than these?” He is asking him if he will sacrifice everything for Christ.
What about you? Do you love Jesus, and is your life proving that in a way that He deserves?
Do you agape Jesus?
Phileo
Phileo is a friendship kind of love.
Many of us experience this daily as we interact with friends, acquaintances, and even those who are strangers. This kind of love exchanges one thing for another: a smile for a smile, a thank you for an act of service, or a favor for a favor.
Are you holding Jesus to a standard of phileo?
Eros
The third kind of love is eros, which is common in intimate relationships. When you boil it down, it is exotic and self-seeking, looking at what someone else can do for you.
Are you holding Jesus to a standard of only looking for what He can do for you?
3 Ways Jesus Calls Us to Love
Love God (John 21:15)
“So when they had eaten breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, ‘Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me more than these?’ He said to Him, ‘Yes, Lord; You know that I love You.’ He said to him, ‘Feed my lambs.’”
John 21:15, NKJV
In John 21:15, Jesus isn’t just asking if Peter loves Him; He is asking if Peter agape-loves Him.
Jesus is asking if Peter loves Him enough to give up everything in his life for Him. This can be a hard concept for most Christians to grasp because the world has trained us through social media, television, and other relationships that we do for others only if they give us something first or in return.
Saints, here is the wonderful news of the Gospel: God has already done abundantly more for you to last you over a lifetime! He shouldn’t have to open another door or answer another prayer. God is worthy of our worship, and He is worthy of our agape-love simply because of who He is.
More Than These
Jesus isn’t just asking Peter if he loves Him. He is asking Peter if he loves Christ more than these. But what are the “these”?
It is how we manage our busy schedules and put importance on errands and meetings over our time with the Lord.
It is being overly intentional with our workouts and strengthening our bodies while our souls are left forsaken.
It is making time for dinner with friends, watching the big game on TV, or scrolling on social media instead of filling our hearts and minds with the truth of Christ.
What about your own life? Do you love Jesus more than these? Be careful, church, not to live a life of idol worship. Love God above all else.
Feed My Lambs
Once Peter confesses his love for Christ, Jesus challenges him by saying, “Feed My lambs.”
A lamb is a sheep that is not quite grown up yet. Jesus is asking Peter to care, nurture, and provide for those who aren’t quite mature in the kingdom of heaven. This could be someone at your church, a friend, or even yourself! If you are still in an immature spiritual state, make sure you continue nurturing your relationship with God so you can care for others.
How do you do that? By praying and reading your Bible daily. Immersing yourself in His word is key to growing in spiritual maturity.
And when you are mature enough to care for the lambs around you, show them the way to Jesus.
Love Others (John 21:16)
“He said to him again a second time, ‘Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me?’ He said to Him, ‘Yes, Lord; You know that I love you.’ He said to him, ‘Tend My sheep.’”
John 21:16, NKJV
Jesus asks a second time, “Simon, do you agape me?”
In the first instance, Jesus asks Peter to feed His lambs. Now, He is asking Peter to tend to His sheep.
As believers, we are often referred to as Jesus’ flock. The only difference between a lamb and sheep is age. Considering this, being young, lambs are subject to getting lost or trapped and must be rescued. But did you know that sometimes sheep stray?
No matter how long we have been a part of the family of God, we still encounter instances where we fall off the right path and make the wrong choices. However, our wonderful Shepherd is faithful to come to our aid and rescue us!
Do you agape Jesus? If so, tend to those who have scattered. Live in such a way that reflects the love of Jesus and show them the way of the Great Shepherd.
Love Yourself (John 21:17)
“He said to him the third time, ‘Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me?’ Peter was grieved because He said to him the third time, ‘Do you love Me?’ And he said to Him, ‘Lord, You know all things; You know that I love you.’ Jesus said to him, ‘Feed My sheep.”
John 21:17, NKJV
Jesus didn’t ask Peter a third time because He wasn’t sure if Peter was telling the truth. He knows Peter’s heart, and unfortunately, our hearts can deceive us.
The truth is that no one is responsible for your spiritual growth but you. You must decide to love yourself enough to immerse and saturate yourself with God’s truth and God’s ways. You cannot get to heaven on your mama’s relationship with Jesus. It is entirely up to you, and the best way to love yourself is to pursue the One whose love is perfect.
Jesus loves you in an unconditional agape way. He died on the cross so that you could be freed from your transgressions, and through that perfect sacrifice, we now can have a personal relationship with the eternal God.
Saints, I implore you; stop looking for people to love you in ways that are perfect. Instead, seek after the Savior who loves you with no strings attached—with an agape love.
For more on how Christ calls us to love, check out Pastor Jenkins’ sermon, How Is Your Love Life? on YouTube.
