Reflecting on your life, would you consider yourself selfish?
Perhaps your first response is, “No”! After all, you work hard for your family and are respected at your job. People look up to you and seek your counsel. You faithfully give to your church every week. However, the reality of this question may surprise you. Whether you want to admit it or not, while on this side of heaven, we all have selfishness within us. (If that is hard to believe, just ask someone close to you!)
Recently, I asked my wife if she thought I was selfish. As she pondered my request, she began to list a series of examples:
Sometimes I want something different for dinner than what has been prepared.
When I enter the bedroom late at night, I turn on the light after she has already been asleep.
I change the television channel to something I want to watch, even if she was watching first.
If I am honest, this was hard to hear. But with grace, my wife told me she noticed I am working on being more selfless.
Not Just a World Problem
Selfishness is a soul pandemic in our culture. Many think it is all about them and their happiness. And oftentimes, the pride of self forces a person’s desires and agendas above what’s best for everyone else.
But here is what’s shocking: this isn’t just prevalent in our culture; it is also in the church.
We see it when people fight for parking spaces.
We see it when people get upset if a guest is in their seat.
We see it when people who have attended church for years are benefiting from ministries, yet never sign up to serve.
As members of the body of Christ, we should always be considerate of others above ourselves. This way of life should not only be in our church buildings, but as we reflect Christ in the world.
The Dangers of Selfishness
Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines selfishness as “a concern for one’s own welfare or advantage at the expense of or disregard of others.”
Even though the world promotes self-preservation, we must continue walking in the ways of Jesus.
Philippians 2:3 says, “Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit…”
Selfish ambition is to campaign for oneself, while conceit fosters a vain opinion of oneself. 2 Timothy warns of this in chapter 3:
“For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God.”
Unfortunately, this passage pinpoints everything that selfishness is. If we encompass any of these, we are loving ourselves more than God.
Selfishness Is a Sin
In Joshua 7, Judah was commanded to destroy everything when they conquered Jericho. However, in selfishness, Achan, a member of the tribe of Judah, saw a Babylonian garment, kept it for himself, and hid it among his things. As a consequence, when the children of Israel moved on to their next battle, they were defeated because there was sin in the camp.
You see, one person fostering a spirit of selfishness can punish an entire family.
One husband who models selfishness can expect a wife who resents him.
One mother who sets a selfish tone will bear self-centered children.
One leader of a family who normalizes selfish patterns will plant destructive roots for the generations to come.
It is dangerous to think the world revolves around you, and even more so as you are leading.
So together, let’s explore how to free ourselves from the trap of selfishness.
4 Keys to Overcoming Self-Centeredness
1 | Lowliness of Mind
“Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit but in lowliness of mind…”
Philippians 2:3, NKJV
As believers, we must cultivate a mindset and lifestyle that acknowledges that without Jesus, we are nothing.
We need Him while at work.
We need Him in the midst of our marriage.
We need Him as we raise our children.
We need Him when we balance our checkbook.
We need thee, O, how we need thee.
2 | Give Consideration to Others
“…let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.”
Philippians 2:3-4, NKJV
Oftentimes, we compare ourselves to others’ abilities, families, and character. What if, instead of considering yourself better than others, you made others better than you?
Esteeming others puts them first. Let’s be people who put others before ourselves.
3 | Change Your Thought Life
“Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men.”
Philippians 2:5-7, NKJV
What an example we have in Jesus. He humbled Himself in every circumstance, with no concern about his reputation, and served others wholeheartedly. Jesus lowered Himself from the glory of the throne to become a lowly man.
The truth is that there are many signing up to be leaders, but no one stepping up to be servants. There are always opportunities to serve others; are you looking for them?
4 | Death to Self
“And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross.”
Philippians 2:8, NKJV
Jesus lowered Himself so much that He surrendered to the death of a sinner—a death meant for you and me.
When was the last time you died to yourself for the sake of serving others?
Surrendering Our Selfishness
“Therefore God also has highly exalted Him and given Him the name which is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those in heaven, and of those on earth, and of those under the earth, and that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.”
Philippians 2:9-11, NKJV
When we surrender our selfish tendencies, God is faithful to lift us up, and when God exalts, no one can knock us down.
Ask Him to show you tangible ways to be selfless and not selfish.
Ask Him to convict you when you try to push your agenda above others.
Ask Him to help you lay your life down for your family, your friends, and your community.
Be encouraged, saints; when you are selfless, God will promote you in His perfect time and season.
For more on how to surrender your selfishness, check out Pastor John K. Jenkins, Sr.’s sermon, Overcoming Selfishness.
